..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My ATM looks so different sober.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
