He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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