I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
