i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
