new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
