At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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