seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
