I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
