I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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