I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
