absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
