just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
