He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
