Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
