Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
