Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I want to make a zoo with you.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize