i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Drake has all the answers
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
