I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
