Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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