There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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