Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Randomize
