We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
