Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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