windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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