he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
