Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
