Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
