how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
