That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
