i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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