I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
