If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
