i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
