we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
