Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We need to rekindle our bromance
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
