We're like a lot better than the average bears
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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