I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
