I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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