census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
