I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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