I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
