3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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