I just threw up on my dentist
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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