at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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