im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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