I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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