Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
