Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
