It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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