she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
