Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
