i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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